Like the glorious fictional past, when the Gunners could boast the tricky winger Charlie Charlie-Charles in their line-up, the future seems double-barreled with one ‘l’ if Arsenal remains British despite a non-investing American owner.
Although it was disappointing to lose Kos-Lettuce before the cup tie against Blackpool began, it’s always good to see Emile Heskey-Rowe in the squad. He’s one of the few youngsters who I think will actually make it at Arsenal. Unfortunately, Smith-Rowe nor Heskey-Rowe made it onto the pitch, so we’ll have to wait longer to see the boy wonder in action again.
Despite two first half-goals scored by another Arsenal teenager which proves his predatory instinct, I cannot honestly see a long-term future for Gregory Hines-Willock and his ilk at the club. Like many other promising young talents that have emerged at Arsenal, he will almost definitely have a decent footballing career. However, it won’t be at Arsenal, in my opinion. He just lacks a certain pizazz and flits in and out of games.
The same goes for Eddie Neck-Tie. The boy has dancing feet, but he could have had a first-half hat-trick if he was as sharp as Arsenal fans hope he will be.
The sharpest tool in Arsenal’s double barreled armoury seemed to be Alex Eye-Worry against Blackpool. I’m not even sure he will make it at the club, but I have to applaud an excellent first-half performance and second half goal from the Nigerian.
Meanwhile, despite registering an assist, I thought Corporal Beef Jerky-Son looked out of his depth against League One opposition, which is a bit concerning to say the least. Nearly all the attacks came down his side, suggesting that Blackpool considered him a weak link.
A more encouraging performance by Clooney-Socratis made Arsenal appear relatively solid defensively and, despite a nervy moment or two from Bounced-Cech, it was a rare clean sheet.
Right now, I’d definitely prefer Bounced-Cech in the starting line-up, rather the German Bernd Linoleum who, as the name suggests, is better when the ball is on the floor than the aforementioned Czech Cech.
Ram-See-Where-He-Ends-Up-Next put in a reasonably good performance in midfield, despite a few stray passes, while his midfield partner, El Nen-Knee, was quietly effective.
On the right side of midfield, Maitland-Niles showed more class than workrate, which is why I don’t see him lasting under Unai Emery-Paper. Ainsley has got a touch of the lazy Op ze-ills about him and that can only mean one thing: his eventual exit.
On the other flank, Tank-Yelnats continues to impress going forward, but not so much in the other direction.
A cameo appearances from Bill Medley, who won’t be singing ‘I had the time of my life’ after that performance, no matter how happy he was to make an appearance, did little to dispell my belief that talent must be bought.
I got the same feeling watching Saka, who apparently had an outstanding debut in the Premier League, if you believe the newspapers. Obviously, he’s still young and he will make grade, but where is the question.
Ultimately, all these youngsters will do well, but they’ll have to move on if they want game time.
Given that the transfer window is open for business, I will not be surprised to see most of the double barreled youngsters move elsewhere, as Islington Arsenal will not be able to offer them opportunities to play once the injury crisis has abated.
Then again, if Arsenal do not spend on the transfer front, maybe one of the youngsters can become the new Jack Wilshere: another promising footballer plying his trade elsewhere.